We know, we know. You’ve got the sleigh half-packed and here we are, only now submitting our Christmas wish list. In our defense, we’re journalists. Deadlines mean nothing — until the last possible second.
As you might have heard, Santa, we’ve been labeled enemies of the American people. In our view, though, we’ve been fairly good this year. Or at least better than some politicians.
Knowing that Rudolph is already on the mound and the rest of the team is taking the field, we’ve edited this list quickly to absolute necessities. What’s cool is, we’ve designed it mindful that nothing should cost you or your elves a dime.
• One summer without road construction.
• Less watching.
• More reading.
• Less texting.
• More talking (face to face).
• Some last-minute magic for Press Christmas for All.
• The neck for Uncle Eddie.
• One winter without ankle-high slush.
• 100 percent Kootenai County voter turnout.
• An epidemic of rationality.
• A turn for the better for those with health issues.
• More families having dinner together.
• Without their cell phones.
• An epidemic of compassion.
• A new car. (Kidding! Just checking to see if you’re still reading.)
• Malignant tumor for malice.
• Selfless leadership.
• More ghastly groaners.
• A proofreadre.
Thanks for your consideration, Santa, and safe travels.
Here’s hoping your evening is filled with cookies and milk, not turkey necks.
— Your humble Press scribes