In July of last year, I was in Israel being briefed in-depth by the cream of Israel's intelligence community and the entrepreneurial barons of its imposing high-tech establishment. The American-Israeli expert who arranged my visit and energetically accompanied me was my close friend Gordy Zacks, who was 80 years old at the time. For decades, Gordy was CEO of the comfort-footwear giant R.G. Barry (Dearfoams, Baggallini) and later a trusted White House adviser to President George H.W. Bush.
Even when we were in Israel together, Gordy knew he had long-term prostate cancer. Being an early-diagnosed cancer survivor myself, I empathized with Gordy. Unlike my cancer that was nipped in the bud, doctors told Gordy his would advance irreversibly, but the odds were it would take years. That's if the cancer behaved ... it didn't.
In December, Gordy experienced some sharp pain. He quickly saw his physician. Tests were done. The cancer had migrated from his prostate to his liver. The pain warning was graver than anyone could imagine: Gordy had terminal cancer. Verdict: just four weeks to live!
In addition to being a gifted businessman and a breathtakingly knowledgeable Israel advocate, Gordy was also an accomplished author. His first book, "Defining Moments," chronicled the fine points of leadership. What do you do when you have just four weeks to live? Gordy decided he would write a second book, thinking his end-of-life experiences might benefit others.
Gordon Zacks' "Redefining Moments" (Beaufort) is chock full of penetrating insights and useful suggestions. Among them:
- Go for closure: "True closure is one of the most powerful treasures in life," Gordy affirms. "You could be missing closure with someone halfway across the country or someone who's in the next room. Whatever the barrier may be, find the way to break through it."
- Emphasize the possible. Gordy reminds us to "Stay true to your purpose in life and its value." The book advises: "If the opportunity exists, rewrite your 'bucket list' to achieve realistic goals given both the time available and the physical ability to do what you would like to do."
- Be adaptable. "One of the most challenging aspects of the end of life is the devastating loss of independence in doing the very simplest things -- moving yourself, dressing yourself, caring for yourself," Gordy observes. "It may require tapping powerful new reservoirs of humility and acceptance to realign your attitudes ... Your willingness to accept perceived 'humiliation' will often be directly related to your opportunities to experience joy."
What if you asked Gordy a year earlier if he would be willing to use a walker, a wheelchair or even an adult diaper? "I would have laughed at each of these options," he admits, "and probably with considerable scorn. Now I pragmatically accept each measure because these are all tools I need to serve a bigger objective."
What ranked high among these bigger objectives? Along with writing "Redefining Moments," he attended a series of Celebration of Life events organized for colleagues, friends and family. His daughter Catherine Zacks Gildenhorn, who also edited "Redefining Moments" for publication, served as emcee for these events. In typical Gordy style, he used each of the events to say thank you to the people who helped make his life such a success.
"I knew full well that the approaching end was inevitable, but I was gifted with being lucid, completely aware, and able to initiate ... A Celebration of Life is not about prematurely collecting applause after the show is over. It's all about keeping the dynamics of that which is most precious to us alive for survivors and future generations."
Gordy intended his book as a launching pad to spur dialogue about end-of-life issues and concerns. Along with the publication of the book, Gordy also saw to the creation of a website - www.RedefiningMoments.org. The website both shares information and allows individuals to post end-of-life experiences and comments which may benefit others.
Gordy passed away in February, exactly as the doctors predicted. He stressed to the end: "I'm the luckiest guy that was ever born." I felt privileged to attend his funeral where figures of international stature eulogized Gordy's life, including spellbinding comments by Ohio Gov. John Kasich, who celebrated his life as a masterwork of purposeful living.
Mackay's Moral: Heed the wise man whose last words remind us to always put first things first.
Harvey Mackay is the author of the New York Times best-seller "Swim With the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive." He can be reached through his website, www.harveymackay.com, by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org or by writing him at MackayMitchell Envelope Co., 2100 Elm St. SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414.