There’s only one team that could beat the Kansas City Chiefs.
OK, we’re a bit biased perhaps, but we’ll put up the 2019-2020 Press Pigskin Prognosticators against anybody.
Our 11-member squad worked almost as hard, sweated almost as much, endured far more public scrutiny and certainly LOL’d more than their NFL champion counterparts.
Heck, our crew played 267 games going back to last September. The Chiefs played 19!
But enough of trying to compare the incomparable. Today’s message is unmitigated flattery and appreciation.
This year’s PPP squad, whose names, ranks and serial numbers all appear in today’s front-page article, provided more fun than most communities deserve.
Only a fraction of the season-long emailed smack-talking could be shared in a family newspaper. The League in all its ominous glory penalized inappropriate politeness — and flags flew at gentle people like Jared Staples and Anne Hagman.
On the eve of the Super Bowl, The League learned through discreet but reliable channels that Post Falls Police Chief Pat Knight got hauled before the judge of judges because he dared talk a little smack at the beginning of the season. (No, not God: His mom. She scolded her son for speaking disrespectfully.) (Thank goodness she’s not privy to Press newsroom daily conversations.)
On the other hand, nobody dished it out or served it up cold better than Mike Kennedy. Coeur d’Alene Police Chief Lee White didn’t chip in all that often, but when he did, his barbs were instant classics. And let the record show, your honor, that his boxer, Buster, stole the show from the get-go.
Jim Hightower of Domino’s fame raised some extra money for charities on the side. If The League offered a sportsmanship award at season’s end, Hightower would probably be in line to receive it. But The League laughs at such frivolity. Smack-talk is the currency it values most.
Off the record, however, The League and each pigskin prognosticator puts a premium on taking care of each other. That’s why these gridiron greats dedicated time they could not easily afford to compete for local nonprofits they care about. Because as much as The League likes to think of itself as the pinnacle of power, see what happens when the priceless underpinnings of communities — the nonprofits — weaken or die. That’s when you see who really matters.
The Press salutes the 11 gracious guessers who created so much fun and raised awareness for 11 local nonprofits each week since last August. We failed to book J.Lo, so for the grand finale, Steve Cameron will entertain the community with a post-game pole dance under the clock tower.