Texas was never very kind to me. It all started when I failed kindergarten. I also failed coloring book. I could not color within the lines. I also frequently ate my crayons.
There were also other problems. When we played hide and seek, nobody would look for me. High school was a great disappointment. My parents liked my brother Bob better than me. They bought him a new Pontiac so he could get to school on time. They gave me a lame mule with vertigo. Because I was always late to class, I was soon expelled from school.
With no high school diploma, I had to do odd jobs between the even ones.
Out of sheer desperation, I left the country to be a pickpocket in India. I soon realized that the men wore loincloths. I did not want to get that personal with my victims.
I decided to relocate to France, where I was a wandering organ grinder with my monkey. Sadly, my monkey bit off my pinky and stole all my coins. He then stole the organ and tossed it under a bus where it was crushed.
Moving to Coeur d’Alene has been the best salve for my wounds. Maybe someone will offer me a job (odd or even).
WILLIAM “WEECHO” HIGGS