OPINION: Relax! Chat Day has you covered

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Public domain Hi, we don’t even exist but we can sell you something!

Yep, it’s Chat Day and I don’t want to muddle around here because we’ve got some really fun stuff for you.

But we’re still not going to open the curtain until we toss out another reminder that this whole thing belongs to you.

My email and Twitter addresses are still at the bottom of the column, and now ...

Let’s get at it.

ITEM: Yes, the Post Falls PD is busy helping citizens and chasing scoundrels.

The department does want you to smile once in a while, though.

Dispatcher Alyssa Tuntland thought it would be a hoot to put something enjoyable on the PD website, and came up with the idea of finding a national holiday for every day of the year.

Alyssa only has time to put one on the site each week, so she does it on Sunday (last week was Middle Child Day).

However, she’s got a holiday at her fingertips for any old day, and they’re absolutely legit.

Amazingly enough, today is National Relaxation Day.

Honestly.

“It means just what it says,” Alyssa said. “Kick back and relax. Don’t do anything at all.”

Unfortunately, the Post Falls cops can’t all celebrate the holiday.

“I’m going to, though,” Alyssa said, “but it’s not like I’m walking away from work to just lie around.

“It’s my regular day off.”

ITEM: It’s pretty common to get late votes whenever we do one of our polls.

One of the best late entries came just after we finished our debate on Lake Coeur d’Alene vs. Coeur d’Alene Lake.

Janet Kavran had a suggestion ...

“I’m a fan of history,” she wrote, “and I think we need to revive the name of our beautiful lake, referring to it only as Coeur d’Alene Lake.”

But then ...

“Or better yet, how about keeping with the French trappers who named the area and call it Lac De Coeur d’Alene?

“Rolls off MY tongue!”

I like it, too. Hey, we call them lochs in Scotland.

So why not?

ITEM: Imagine my shock and surprise to see this headline on the Entertainment Today website ...

“Why Every Judge on Shark Tank Backed This Product from Rathdrum!”

Wow.

There was a picture of Anna and Samantha Martin, sisters from just down the road in Rathdrum, and the exciting tale of how each of the Sharks had stunned their TV audience by offering to invest $1.3 million in the young ladies’ fledgling company.

They’re in the personal health business, and apparently stumbled across a bona fide weight-loss product.

How have I never seen these women in town?

Ah, but of course ...

I couldn’t.

They’re not from Rathdrum. They might not even be sisters.

The entire thing is fiction, and if you happen to see the ad, these imaginary photoshopped girls might be touted as hailing from Coeur d’Alene, Post Falls, New Jersey, or wherever you happen to live.

The whole thing is a clever but cruelly deceptive ad, and comes very close to the point where the makers of Purefit KETO — the product featured in the ad — could be sued by the Shark Tank’s production company.

It’s also a reminder to double- and triple-check anything you see on the web (see Sholeh’s column Tuesday).

ITEM: Syd Albright, our in-house historian at The Press, also has a wicked sense of humor.

I assume Syd admires our profession — since he’s a member of it — but recently he began collecting images of horrible newspaper headline errors.

Maybe we should roll these out a few at a time, eh?

OK, here are the first three from “Cyanide Syd” for this week, and remember, these really were published.

No word on the fate of the copy editors involved.

1. “Meeting on Open Meetings is Closed.”

2. “Man Accused of Killing Lawyer Receives a New Attorney”

3. “17 Remain Dead in Morgue Shooting Spree.”

Well, at least they probably were accurate.

And now ...

As usual, stick around for Celine Dion — and remember to tip your waiters.

•••

Steve Cameron is a columnist for The Press.

A Brand New Day appears Wednesday through Saturday each week. Steve’s sports column runs on Tuesday.

Email: scameron@cdapress.com.

Twitter:@BrandNewDayCDA.

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